Cerveza se los Muerto: Porter

This beer is a complete and utter random buy, and unexpectedly enjoyable. It comes in a bright orange and festive six pack container with ruttin good examples of Mexican folk art, and Day of the Dead celebrations. Before I talk about the bottle or the beer itself, whoever the damn artist is for the Dia de los Muertos brewery deserves a ruttin award. The box caught the eye of this captain and my first officer, who is joining in on this review. The bottle also features soddin nice art. It’s almost worth buying the beer to just have the labels. The bottle features a cloaked reaper on a ram headed boat above the quote “Pay the Ferryman.”  This is on par with Old Rasputin’s “Never Say Die.” A good ruttin slogan for a beer is a great addition for this captain.

The beer is a dark coffee smelling brew. It pours well into any glass, or just drink it from the damn pretty bottle. It has a smokey coffee initial taste followed by beer of choie malty rich after taste that lingers in your damn mouth. It is not the smoothest beer to drink, which makes it one of my kind instantly. Something with a tasty kick that will put hair on your soddin chest. So it is not the aver beer drinking duster’s first choice. It is definitely not a beer for first time drinker’s either, unless that like strong coffee. It is a damn good beer, and will be a rebuy for this captain provided I can find it more often.

Rating: 5/5
~Ambrose E. Brightmore

Blonde Bitch

Alright this beer is a funny named brew from Moorhouse’s brewery. In fact it was bought mostly for the name. It is a citrus inspired blonde ale, with a tall old looking bottle that catches the eye of some drinkers that walk by. It lists itself as an award winning beer in simple vintage styled label that features a busty blonde farm girl holding wheat. In all honesty there was no other reason to buying this beer than its name which made me ruttin laugh my arse off. It is 4.99 a pint and is rather hard to find, only one store in the area carries it.

The beer pours rather flat, but has a nice smell. It is an opaque golden yellow that has very little bubble to it.
The flavor is initially tasty and has a sweet citrusy note. However, the after taste is that of a skunky beer. This may have been it was sitting on the self too ruttin long, which is often the case with singles that cost more than two dollars, or it could just be a bitter after taste that the beer has. However, it was still mostly enjoyable to ruttin drink. It is not a rebuy on this end. A lover of blondes may differ in ruttin opinion. It is worth one buy though, if for nothing else than the bad jokes that can be made about your name.
 
Rating: 2/5
 ~Ambrose E. Brightmore